The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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