saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
