It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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