thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
