So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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