I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
