I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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