I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
