we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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