fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
