Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
