Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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