i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
