new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
home. puking in laundry basket.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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