White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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