Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
