at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
