look no pants
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
