I just saw a hot homeless man
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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