I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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