sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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