actually, I'm a sock model
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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