I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
