I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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