if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
