Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
