I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
