like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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