exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
