Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
