it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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