Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
