She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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