Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
