yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
