I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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