JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
