nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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