I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
