you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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