he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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