Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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