I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
