Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
