my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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