My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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