2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
