so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
