It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
