Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
