I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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