You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
