I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
