My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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