Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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