dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
