Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Non-Jews are for practice
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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