dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
