When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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